My husband and I were sitting with our morning tea today, just catching up, and the topic of “ambition” came up. It started because someone recently told me they weren’t ambitious at all.
And honestly, it got me thinking.
Because in my experience, when people say they aren’t ambitious, it’s usually one of two things: either they haven’t fully tapped into what they’re capable of, or they’re hiding behind that label because wanting more feels uncomfortable to admit.
I know because I did that for years.
The truth was not that I lacked ambition. The truth was that I was scared to admit I wanted a big life. I wanted beauty, comfort, depth, experiences, meaningful work, financial freedom… all of it. Posh, pomp and more.
And somewhere along the way, I had absorbed this idea that ambition automatically meant greed, hustle, ego or constantly proving yourself.
In our society, ambition has become tied to status. Titles. Money. Achievement. Being “successful” in a way the world can measure and applaud.
And honestly, if that is the definition, I understand why some people reject it.
Not everyone wants to live exhausted. Not everyone wants their entire self-worth tied to productivity.
But over tea this morning, Debasish asked me a simple question:
“What is ambition?”
And I realised maybe ambition is much simpler than we make it.
Maybe ambition is just the desire to grow.
It’s the thing that makes you want to become better at something. Build a home that feels like yours. Create meaningful work. Get your life in order. Heal. Learn. Build. Move forward.
Not because you are racing someone else.
Not because you want applause.
Just because staying stagnant no longer feels true to you.
Sometimes “I’m not ambitious” is simply a safer thing to say.
Because once you admit you want more from life, you also have to face the fear of whether you can actually create it.
I think many of us downplay our own drive because we don’t want to seem “too much.” Especially women. Especially people who value peace and softness and presence.
But ambition and softness are not opposites.
You can be deeply grounded and still want an extraordinary life.
You can rest and still be ambitious.
You can move slowly and still want more.
For me, ambition today looks very different from what it did years ago.
Take the Maloka space, for example. Some people might look at the planning, construction and sheer amount of work involved and call it ambitious.
For me, it just feels honest.
I have a vision for a space and I care enough to see it through, even on the days it feels exhausting or overwhelming. Not because I want status from it. Not because I’m trying to “make it.”
I simply don’t want to settle for a life that feels smaller than what I know I’m capable of creating.
And I think I can finally say this out loud without guilt:
I am ambitious.
And I am proud of it.
Not in the hustle sense.
Not in that “I have arrived” sense.
But in the stubborn, deeply personal sense of wanting to fully live my life.
I’m curious — what is your understanding of ambition now?
Do you feel like you have to hide your drive to fit in, or have you found a way to want more without getting trapped in the hustle culture version of ambition?